Bridget Bites : Introversion
Q:
Thank you for publishing your blog. It is always refreshing to read. I am a doctor in Aus, and it is so refreshing to read such thoughtful, balanced, and deeply considered points, and opinions. They are truly rare these days, with many celebrities touting specific products or diets or other advice to solve any problem for any person.
Having read much of your writing, I was wondering whether you know which personality type you fall into? I sense you are a fellow introvert, but wondered whether you're ever done one of these quizzes? I thought perhaps INFJ or INFP but would be interested. You can do the quiz for free at 16personalities.
All the best, and keep up the great work :)
A:
Thank you so much for your kind words! That means a lot to me coming from a doctor. I am very aware that as a health coach and a nutritionist in training my word and advice should be run by a doctor first; so it was really amazing to hear from you that I am on track 😃
I am an INFJ, and have been since I first took the test in 2008. I take it every couple of years out of curiosity, and I am always the same. I tend to get a bit more introverted each time I take it too.
It surprises a lot of people that I am an introvert, (I come across as very social, due to that extroverted feeling!) but I certainly am. I like to workout, think, write and study on my own, and do my best work that way. And whilst I definitely do love being around other humans (that I care about) sometimes it gets too much and I need to go sit in a quiet, dark room and recharge.
It has taken a long time to get comfortable with being an introvert. It feels like this world is built for extroverts; so much power is given to the social humans, and our western culture seems to really champion extroverted traits. But the older I get the more comfortable I get with my type. I now view introversion as a power, it gives me an energy source that I can use to get a better read on other humans. It has certainly saved me from a few interactions that would be exhausting and stressful, and I have found my instinct is only improving. Instead of jumping in with humans, I use my quiet mind to see what my gut is telling me. Instinct and intuition are extremely powerful, but are not seen as desirable traits in the extroverted, scientific western world. I tend to view my quiet times as a bulbasaur, retreating from one round of battle to get the suns energy, in order to come back twice as strong the next round. (Child of the 90’s holla).
It has also put me very much in touch with how I am feeling at any given time. I have a good read on myself and what I need, and can subsequently really take care of myself. It is a double edge sword though; being aware of what I need and what is socially expected of me can cause great cognitive dissonance. Which causes anxiety, which results in more meditation and dark quiet spaces.
Being introverted can be tough. I have zero ability for small talk. I seem to meet people, and jump straight into “so what was the hardest thing you have ever experienced/what is your earliest childhood memory/what do you think your weakest trait is and why”. Which tends to weird some people out. Strange. But the ones who respond well are usually the keepers. The networking is not strong with this one. I also have had to get used to a lot of social anxiety – whenever there is a lull in conversation I have to tell myself its ok, nobody cares as much as you do. This last line is powerful for me, whenever I have to pass up on plans or drinks or screen a phone call (please just text me unknown number) I have to remind myself that I don’t need to please everyone all the time. My time alone makes me a much better person that everyone would rather be around anyway, so I ensure I get my quiet time.
Introverts come up with the ideas that the extroverts implement (for the record, I love my extroverts too. These people make life so interesting and enjoyable, and I value the connection there). But there is a reason why this personality trait still remains, and with Gandhi, Martin Luther King and Nelson Mandela as my fellow INFJ’s I am comfortable with how I am wired. And being married to a fellow introvert (INFP) I can say that getting to know us well is pretty good. It astounds me how after four years together it feels like day one. Getting to know him more is a daily melting experience, and I love the connection and thoughts in his mind.
Yay to introverts! (and extroverts).
Peace and love,
Bridget
Bridget Malcolm