Breaking Free of Self Hate

Q:

Hi Bridget ! Im a teenager that has been body shamed before like you, and got into those diet, now I just wanna be normal, can you share with me how's your meal plan like everyday ? And how you got over with those dieting thoughts ? I just wanna be like you, getting over with weight and just live life out. Please guide me !! Thank you :)

A:

Hi! Thank you for your message! And well done on making the decision to just let life happen, without the dieting noise. Diets don’t work – that’s why so many diet creators are very rich.

My number one piece of advice is that I don’t follow a meal plan everyday. That is the most freeing part of all from the voices. I do not follow anyone else’s idea of how to eat except my own. I have tried them all – paleo, raw vegan, HCLF, LCHF, pegan, high protein, no protein, then only vegetables and protein shakes – and they all made me feel insane and stressed. I never really lost weight (until I dramatically reduced my food intake), but all the switching made my stomach hate me even more, and threw my mind into a spiral with all the changing food rules. I did notice that I felt better when I was plant-based. So I decided to go with that. I also noticed that when I ate ice cream every day, I didn’t feel particularly energetic or alive. So I tend to eat deserts once or twice a week.

I would advise you to start to embrace intuitive eating. I was absolutely petrified when I decided to stop starving myself, and was so paranoid that I would gain weight. But the only way to free yourself is to eat the things that frighten you and discover for yourself what you like, and what leaves you feeling energetic and happy. I have no interest in telling you my daily meal plan, because that in and of itself is a dieting thought. You need to eat properly and regularly and find out your personal preferences. No two people are alike. Not to mention that I don’t have a daily meal plan. I eat what I feel like in the moment.

When you under eat for a long period of time, your hunger cues get all messed up. I used to rarely feel hunger, and considered those who did to be undisciplined and ‘weak’. Now I realize they were actual functioning humans (I was more of a shell). And I am now one of them. But in the early days I set myself the rules of eating three proper meals a day, plus two snacks if I needed them. I learned what a proper serving size is of everything, and was diligent in making sure I didn’t undereat. I would have 20 grams of protein with each main meal, and each day I would always have a handful of nuts, at least a serving of fruit, an avocado, and dark chocolate. I was petrified of sugar in all its forms, so I made sure to eat it and get over the fear.

And you know what? I didn’t gain weight to the point of being out of control. Far from it. My body went up about a size, but then it stayed right in the middle of the healthy weight range. By giving my body what it needed to function it proceeded to balance out, greatly increasing my trust in myself. Now I have normal hunger cues, and the freedom to eat however I feel in the moment. Sometimes the level of joy in this freedom verges on giddiness – if someone offers me some pasta or wants to go for ice cream I know I can eat it if I feel like it, and feel no anxiety or guilt. Building trust in my body was the single most important thing I did for my health.

I repeat this a lot: I want to eat this, so I will, because this won’t make me fat and isn’t worth the mental energy of worrying about it. I know it to be true. It is such a gift. And the knowledge that if I want to eat something, I can, has completely eliminated my binge cycles. If I want desert, I eat it and enjoy every mouthful, content in the knowledge that I can have it again if I want. There’s no need to eat everything in sight, if it will be there tomorrow for you.

With this self awareness has come recognition in the foods that make me thrive, and the foods that make me sloth on the couch all day with a mild stomach ache. Fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, dark chocolate, brown rice, quinoa, pasta, sweet potato’s etc. all leave me feeling energetic and happy. Chips, plant-based cakes, gluten filled foods, alcohol, anything fried etc., all leave me with a torn up GI tract and set my hormones on a rampage. Mindful eating has taught me this, and so I do instinctively go for the foods that leave me feeling great. But I definitely indulge in the treats sometimes. I guess this is called balance 😀

At the end of the day, no two people will eat the same way. We all have different genes, tastes and backgrounds. In the early days I focused on eating three meals a day, and hitting my dietary goals. Now that I am mentally sound and physically stable, I can trust my hunger cues. The level of freedom is amazing. I would advise you to look into intuitive eating, and set yourself free.

 

I hope this helps!

 

Love,

Bridget

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