Bridget Bites : How to make it in NYC

Q:

how do you find discipline for the work that has made you successful? there are so many ambitious people in nyc, i feel inferior, lost in self-doubt and anxiety. i often use these feelings as an excuse to be lazy. i want to cultivate discipline and good habits as an adult, i don't want to waste anymore time here defeating myself, but i'm not sure where to begin.

A:

First off – everyone feels like that. The more time I spend in this city, the more I realize that the majority of people here are feeling out of their league and out of control. It is a rough place to start out, and I have a theory that it has to suck for at least a year. Certainly did for me. It takes time to find your groove and your people here, so give it time. Still after eight years here sometimes I feel anxious and lost in self-doubt! That is a part of being a human, and that will follow you around wherever you live in the world. So may as well experience it in this insane city.

I attribute any success I have had to just showing up. Every single day, every single challenge, for me three quarters of the battle is just getting myself out the door. When other people around me have given up and gone home, I just stayed. Whenever there is something worthwhile going on I show up. Our mental chatter is what stops us from reaching and achieving – things are NEVER as bad as they are in our minds!

This is a city where loads of people are crammed into small spaces; yet feel as isolated as ever. It is a strange catch 22, but I have found that it makes socializing really easy. And that is such an important part of success – quite often a conversation with a relative stranger yields results you never could have predicted for yourself. So keep talking to people, and keep asking them questions about themselves.

I have also found that being disciplined in the knowledge of who I am is important. I have managed to not get swept up in the industry I am in, or the city I live in, simply because I know what I like, and what I will and will not do. This is important – through remaining an individual, people are automatically more interested in you. Don’t follow the trends and keep your sense of self.

I think the best way to maintain the above points is through a solid wellness routine. For me it is diet, exercise and meditation. Those are the three pillars of my health, and it helps to ground me, energize me, and empower me.

I wish I could give you more specialized advice, but I don’t know your specific situation. But just keep at it! This city is tough, but people are still people. Keep your sense of self, open yourself up to literally any possibility and amazing things happen.

 

Peace and love,

Bridget